In this article, we will provide you the best collection of Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi, English, and Hinglish which you can read and share with your friend for FREE!

Below are the Best Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi and English:-

संता (नौकर से) – ज़रा देख तो बाहर सूरज निकला या नहीं ?
नौकर – बाहर तो अँधेरा है !
संता – अरे तो टॉर्च जलाकर देख ले कामचोर ????

Santa(संता): हम पति-पत्नी तमिल सीखना चाहते हैं!
Banta(बंता): वो क्यों?
Santa(संता): हमने एक तमिल बच्चा गोद लिया है!हम सोचते हैं जब वो बोलने लगे तो उससे पहले पहले हम तमिल सीख लें!??

Santa(संता) – डॉक्टर साहब 2 साल पहले मुझे बुखार आया था ।
डॉक्टर- तो अब क्या ?
Santa(संता) – आपने नहाने को मना किया था, आज इधर से गुजर रहा था तो सोचा कि पूछता चलू ..”अब नहा लूँ क्या” ????????

संता का सर फट गया….
डॉक्टर:- ये कैसे हुआ?
संता:-मैं ईंट से पत्थर तोड़ रहा था।
एक आदमी ने मुझसे कहा, “कभी खोपड़ी का इस्तेमाल भी कर लिया कर।”

संता :-आज फिर मुझे आलिया भट्ट को किस करने को दिल कर रहा है ।
बंता:-क्या ??????तुम आलिया को पहले किस कर चुके हो?
संता:- नहीं, एक बार पहले भी दिल किया था ! ?

संता एक बार double decker वाली बस में चढ़ गया ….कंडक्टर ने उसे ऊपर भेज दिया , संता थोड़ी ही देर में भागता हुआ वापिस आया और बोला
” साले मरवाएगा क्या ऊपर तो ड्राइवर ही नहीं है “????

एक नीग्रो बस में अपने बच्चे के साथ जा रहा था….
कंडक्टर ने उसका बच्चा देखकर कहा- “इतना काला बच्चा मैंने आज तक नहीं देखा”……
नीग्रो को गुस्सा आया, लेकिन वो कुछ नहीं बोला और सीट पर आकर मुह फुलाकर बैठ गया।
संता ने उससे पूछा: “क्या हुआ भाई साहब”?
नीग्रो ने संता से कहा: अरे यार, उस कंडक्टर ने बेइज्जती कर दी। . . . .
संता : अरे मार साले को जाकर . . . ला ये चिम्पांजी का बच्चा मुझे पकड़ा दे… साला काटेगा तो नहीं…….. ????

संता पेड़ पर उल्टे लटके हुए था,
बंता ने पूछा – क्या हो गया?
संता- कुछ नहीं, सिर दर्द की गोली खाई है, कहीं पेट में ना चली जाए.!!!???????

बीवी – सुनो जी, जब हमारी नयी नयी शादी हुई थी,
तो जब मैं खाना बना कर लाती थी तो तुम खुद कम खाते थे,
मुझे ज्यादा खिलाते थे।
संता – तो ?
बीवी – तो अब ऐसा क्यों नहीं करते ?
संता – क्यूंकि अब तुम अच्छा खाना बनाना सीख गयी हो….

Best Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

संता शराब पीकर नंबर dial करता है , तभी लड़की की आवाज़ आती है ” Call करने के लिए आपके पास पर्याप्त Balance नहीं है , कृपया recharge करवाएँ
संता : बस जानेमन तुमसे बात हो जाती है ये ही काफी है मेरे लिए

संता : आज सुबह एक बिल्ली ने मेरा रास्ता काट दिया
बंता : फिर ?
संता : फिर क्या आगे जाकर उस बिल्ली का एक्सीडेंट हो गया। ….. साला हमसे पंगा

संता बड़ा परेशान था, बेचारे की शादी जो नहीं हो रही थी। हर बार शादी होते होते टूट जाती। सारे दोस्तों से पूछ लिया लेकिन कोई समाधान नहीं मिला।
बेचारा एक दिन एक पंडित जी के पास पहुंच गया और बोला- पंडित जी कोई उपाय बताए मेरी शादी नहीं हो रही हमेशा टूट जाती है।
पंडित जी ने कहा- शादी हो जाएगी, लेकिन सबसे पहले तुम लोगो से सदा सुखी होने का आशीर्वाद लेना बंद करो।

संता मोबाइल कम्पनी में नौकरी लेने गया तो पहले ही सवाल का जवाब देने पर उसको भगा दिया गया!
सवाल: सबसे बड़ा नेटवर्क कौन सा है?
संता: कार्टून नेटवर्क!

संता रोटी का एक निवाला खुद खा रहा था और एक पास बैठी मुर्गी को खिला रहा था…
बंता :- “ ये क्या कर रहा है ? ”
संता :- “ चिकन के साथ रोटी खा रहा हूँ ”

संता और बंता शराब के नशे में धुत्त होकर रेल की पटरियों के बीचों-बीच जा रहे थे….
संता : हे भगवान, मैंने इतनी सीढ़ियां पहले कभी नहीं चढ़ीं
बंता : अरे सीढ़ियाँ तो ठीक हैं, मैं तो इस बात को लेकर हैरान हूं कि हाथ से पकड़ने के लिए रेलिंग कितने नीचे लगी हुई हैं …..???????

एक मोटरसाइकिल वाले ने पता पूछने के लिए संता से पूछा….
Excuse me… मुझे “लाल किला” जाना है ?
संता: तो जा ना भाई, ऐसे हर किसी को बताते बताते जायेगा तो पहुचेगा कब ?? ?????

संता ने एक हलवाई की दुकान पर आधा किलो जलेबी लेकर खाई और बिना पैसे दिए जाने लगा..
दुकानदार बोला – अरे जलेबी के पैसे तो दिए जा ।
संता – पैसे तो है नहीं ..
इस पर दूकानदार ने अपने नौकर को बुला कर संता की भरपूर पिटाई करवा दी।
पिटने के बाद संता उठा और हाथ पैर झाड़ते हुए बोला- इसी भाव पर एक किलो और तौल दे ।???

संता अंडरवियर लेने दुकान पर गया।
दुकानदार ने उसे 300 रूपये का अंडरवियर दिखाया।
पैसे सुनकर संता बोला: यार रोज पहनने वाला दिखाओ,पार्टीवियर नहीं चाहिए।

बंता wife को English सिखा रहा था।
दोपहर में Wife बोली, “Dinner लो जी”…..
बंता – जाहिल औरत ये Dinner नही Lunch है….”
Wife – जाहिल तू, तेरा सारा ख़ानदान करमफूटे….ये रात का बचा हुआ खाना है… दिमाग मत दौड़ा, रोटी चरले।

संता के हाथ में नया फोन देखकर बंता बोला: नया फोन कब खरीदा?
संता : नया नहीं, गर्लफ्रेंड का है!
बंता : गर्लफ्रेंड का फोन क्यूँ ले आया?
संता :रोज कहती थी, मेरा फोन नहीं उठाते..! आज मौका मिला, तो उठा लाया!!

भिखारी: 5 रुपए का सवाल है बाबा !
संता: पूछो, शायद मुझे आता हो।
भिखारी: बेहोश …..संता rocks….

संता पहली बार 5 स्टार होटल में गया… झिझकते हुए चाय का आर्डर दिया….
कुछ ही मिनट में एक सजा धजा वेटर एक केतली में गर्म पानी, एक केतली में दूध, एक चाय पत्ती का पाउच और थोड़े चीनी के क्यूब देकर चला गया… संता ने जैसे तैसे चाय बना कर पी ली…
थोड़ी देर बाद वेटर आया और पूछा : would u like to have anything more, sir?
संता बोला : इच्छा तो बिरयानी खाने की भी थी, पर रहने दो … मुझे बनाना नहीं आता !!!

संता :- तुम ऑपरेशन कराए बिना ही हॉस्पिटल से क्यों भाग गए ?
बंता :- नर्स बार बार कह रही थी कि डरो मत, हिम्मत रखो, कुछ नहीं होगा.. ये तो बस एक छोटा सा ऑपरेशन है!
संता :- तो इसमें डरने वाली कौन सी बात है ? सही तो कह रही थी नर्स ! बंता :- साले, वो मुझसे नहीं डॉक्टर से कह रही थी !!!

Latest Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

संता (नौकर से) – ज़रा देख तो बाहर सूरज निकला या नहीं ?
नौकर – बाहर तो अँधेरा है !
संता – अरे तो टॉर्च जलाकर देख ले कामचोर 😆😎😎😜
Santa(संता): हम पति-पत्नी तमिल सीखना चाहते हैं!
Banta(बंता): वो क्यों?
Santa(संता): हमने एक तमिल बच्चा गोद लिया है!हम सोचते हैं जब वो बोलने लगे तो उससे पहले पहले हम तमिल सीख लें!😬😂

Santa(संता) – डॉक्टर साहब 2 साल पहले मुझे बुखार आया था ।
डॉक्टर- तो अब क्या ?
Santa(संता) – आपने नहाने को मना किया था, आज इधर से गुजर रहा था तो सोचा कि पूछता चलू ..”अब नहा लूँ क्या” ??😆😎😎😜😜😜
संता का सर फट गया….
डॉक्टर:- ये कैसे हुआ?
संता:-मैं ईंट से पत्थर तोड़ रहा था।
एक आदमी ने मुझसे कहा, “कभी खोपड़ी का इस्तेमाल भी कर लिया कर।”
संता :-आज फिर मुझे आलिया भट्ट को किस करने को दिल कर रहा है ।
बंता:-क्या ??????तुम आलिया को पहले किस कर चुके हो?
संता:- नहीं, एक बार पहले भी दिल किया था ! 😀
संता एक बार double decker वाली बस में चढ़ गया ….कंडक्टर ने उसे ऊपर भेज दिया , संता थोड़ी ही देर में भागता हुआ वापिस आया और बोला
” साले मरवाएगा क्या ऊपर तो ड्राइवर ही नहीं है “😄😄😄😄
एक नीग्रो बस में अपने बच्चे के साथ जा रहा था….
कंडक्टर ने उसका बच्चा देखकर कहा- “इतना काला बच्चा मैंने आज तक नहीं देखा”……
नीग्रो को गुस्सा आया, लेकिन वो कुछ नहीं बोला और सीट पर आकर मुह फुलाकर बैठ गया।
संता ने उससे पूछा: “क्या हुआ भाई साहब”?
नीग्रो ने संता से कहा: अरे यार, उस कंडक्टर ने बेइज्जती कर दी। . . . .
संता : अरे मार साले को जाकर . . . ला ये चिम्पांजी का बच्चा मुझे पकड़ा दे… साला काटेगा तो नहीं…….. 😛😝😛😝
संता पेड़ पर उल्टे लटके हुए था,
बंता ने पूछा – क्या हो गया?
संता- कुछ नहीं, सिर दर्द की गोली खाई है, कहीं पेट में ना चली जाए.!!!😄😄😄😄😁😂😂
बीवी – सुनो जी, जब हमारी नयी नयी शादी हुई थी,
तो जब मैं खाना बना कर लाती थी तो तुम खुद कम खाते थे,
मुझे ज्यादा खिलाते थे।
संता – तो ?
बीवी – तो अब ऐसा क्यों नहीं करते ?
संता – क्यूंकि अब तुम अच्छा खाना बनाना सीख गयी हो….

Popular Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

संता शराब पीकर नंबर dial करता है , तभी लड़की की आवाज़ आती है ” Call करने के लिए आपके पास पर्याप्त Balance नहीं है , कृपया recharge करवाएँ
संता : बस जानेमन तुमसे बात हो जाती है ये ही काफी है मेरे लिए
संता : आज सुबह एक बिल्ली ने मेरा रास्ता काट दिया
बंता : फिर ?
संता : फिर क्या आगे जाकर उस बिल्ली का एक्सीडेंट हो गया। ….. साला हमसे पंगा
संता बड़ा परेशान था, बेचारे की शादी जो नहीं हो रही थी। हर बार शादी होते होते टूट जाती। सारे दोस्तों से पूछ लिया लेकिन कोई समाधान नहीं मिला।
बेचारा एक दिन एक पंडित जी के पास पहुंच गया और बोला- पंडित जी कोई उपाय बताए मेरी शादी नहीं हो रही हमेशा टूट जाती है।
पंडित जी ने कहा- शादी हो जाएगी, लेकिन सबसे पहले तुम लोगो से सदा सुखी होने का आशीर्वाद लेना बंद करो।
संता मोबाइल कम्पनी में नौकरी लेने गया तो पहले ही सवाल का जवाब देने पर उसको भगा दिया गया!
सवाल: सबसे बड़ा नेटवर्क कौन सा है?
संता: कार्टून नेटवर्क!

More santa banta jokes in hindi:

Checkout more jokes on santa banta in hindi listed below.

संता रोटी का एक निवाला खुद खा रहा था और एक पास बैठी मुर्गी को खिला रहा था…
बंता :- “ ये क्या कर रहा है ? ”
संता :- “ चिकन के साथ रोटी खा रहा हूँ ”
संता और बंता शराब के नशे में धुत्त होकर रेल की पटरियों के बीचों-बीच जा रहे थे….
संता : हे भगवान, मैंने इतनी सीढ़ियां पहले कभी नहीं चढ़ीं
बंता : अरे सीढ़ियाँ तो ठीक हैं, मैं तो इस बात को लेकर हैरान हूं कि हाथ से पकड़ने के लिए रेलिंग कितने नीचे लगी हुई हैं …..😄😄😄😀😀😀😀
एक मोटरसाइकिल वाले ने पता पूछने के लिए संता से पूछा….
Excuse me… मुझे “लाल किला” जाना है ?
संता: तो जा ना भाई, ऐसे हर किसी को बताते बताते जायेगा तो पहुचेगा कब ?? 😜😜😀😂😃
संता ने एक हलवाई की दुकान पर आधा किलो जलेबी लेकर खाई और बिना पैसे दिए जाने लगा..
दुकानदार बोला – अरे जलेबी के पैसे तो दिए जा ।
संता – पैसे तो है नहीं ..
इस पर दूकानदार ने अपने नौकर को बुला कर संता की भरपूर पिटाई करवा दी।
पिटने के बाद संता उठा और हाथ पैर झाड़ते हुए बोला- इसी भाव पर एक किलो और तौल दे ।😛😃😃
संता अंडरवियर लेने दुकान पर गया।
दुकानदार ने उसे 300 रूपये का अंडरवियर दिखाया।
पैसे सुनकर संता बोला: यार रोज पहनने वाला दिखाओ,पार्टीवियर नहीं चाहिए।
बंता wife को English सिखा रहा था।
दोपहर में Wife बोली, “Dinner लो जी”…..
बंता – जाहिल औरत ये Dinner नही Lunch है….”
Wife – जाहिल तू, तेरा सारा ख़ानदान करमफूटे….ये रात का बचा हुआ खाना है… दिमाग मत दौड़ा, रोटी चरले।

संता के हाथ में नया फोन देखकर बंता बोला: नया फोन कब खरीदा?
संता : नया नहीं, गर्लफ्रेंड का है!
बंता : गर्लफ्रेंड का फोन क्यूँ ले आया?
संता :रोज कहती थी, मेरा फोन नहीं उठाते..! आज मौका मिला, तो उठा लाया!!

More santa banta jokes in hindi:

भिखारी: 5 रुपए का सवाल है बाबा !
संता: पूछो, शायद मुझे आता हो।
भिखारी: बेहोश …..संता rocks….
संता पहली बार 5 स्टार होटल में गया… झिझकते हुए चाय का आर्डर दिया….
कुछ ही मिनट में एक सजा धजा वेटर एक केतली में गर्म पानी, एक केतली में दूध, एक चाय पत्ती का पाउच और थोड़े चीनी के क्यूब देकर चला गया… संता ने जैसे तैसे चाय बना कर पी ली…
थोड़ी देर बाद वेटर आया और पूछा : would u like to have anything more, sir?
संता बोला : इच्छा तो बिरयानी खाने की भी थी, पर रहने दो … मुझे बनाना नहीं आता !!!
संता :- तुम ऑपरेशन कराए बिना ही हॉस्पिटल से क्यों भाग गए ?
बंता :- नर्स बार बार कह रही थी कि डरो मत, हिम्मत रखो, कुछ नहीं होगा.. ये तो बस एक छोटा सा ऑपरेशन है!
संता :- तो इसमें डरने वाली कौन सी बात है ? सही तो कह रही थी नर्स !
बंता :- साले, वो मुझसे नहीं डॉक्टर से कह रही थी !!!

संता: बेटे दो बिस्तर किसलिए लगाए हैं.

लड़का: पापा घर में दो मेहमान आने वाले हैं, एक मम्मी का भाई और दूसरा मेरे मामा.

संता: अबे गधे, एक बिस्तर और लगा ले मेरा साला भी तो आने वाला है.

एक दिन लादेन अमिताभ बच्चन से मिला.

लादेन: क्या हाल है अमिताभ, क्या चल रहा है?

अमिताभ: बस कुछ खास नहीं, कभी खुशी कभी गम. और आपका?

लादेन: मेरा भी कुछ खास नहीं बस कभी गोला कभी बम.

बुरी तरह उखड़ी हुई बीवी ने निठल्ले पति को कोसते हुए कहा, “तुम्हारी ज़िन्दगी भी कोई ज़िन्दगी है क्या… तुम्हारे घर का खर्च मेरे पिताजी उठाते हैं… तुम्हारे बच्चों के स्कूल की फीस मेरी मां दिया करती हैं… मेरे मामा हमारे मकान-मालिक हैं, सो, वह किराया नहीं लेते… कपड़े मेरी बुआ के भिजवाए हुए पहनते हो… खाने-पीने का सामान मेरी मौसी की दुकान से मुफ्त आता है… शर्म नहीं आती क्या…?”

पति ने तमतमाकर जवाब दिया, “बिल्कुल… शर्म तो आनी ही चाहिए… इसी शहर में तुम्हारे दो-दो भाई भी रहते हैं, लेकिन सालों ने आज तक एक पैसा भी नहीं भिजवाया…”

संता अपने पिताजी के सामने सिगरेट पी रहा था.

बंता ने कहा तुम अपने पिताजी के सामने सिगरेट पी रहे हो?

संता- वो मेरे पिताजी है, कोई पेट्रोल पम्प थोड़े ही हैं.

डॉक्टर: आपके तीन दांत कैसे टूट गए ?
संता: जी वो पत्नी ने कड़क रोटी बनाई थी.
डॉक्टर: तो खाने से मना कर देते.

संता: जी वही तो किया था

Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Santa- When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What's the problem?
Help Desk - Dear Santa, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person is standing behind, he can't read your password.
Santa - Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
Help Desk - !!!!!

100 metre ki race ho rahi thi...
Referee - '1,2,3 GO!'...
Everybody started running except Santa.
Referee - Y r u not running...?
Santa - My number is 4.

Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied...
French : I think I dont smoke (died).
American : I think I love my wife (died).
Santa: I think.. (died)

Santa and Banta are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Santa - What should we do now?
Banta- We'll take 50:50.
Santa- What about the remaining 900?

Santa: Let's go for movie.
Banta: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..
Santa: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick.

Santa reading newspaper..
News: "Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"
Santa comments: Idiot !! Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!

Santa : I have more Fans than You..
Banta: No Big deal, I have AC at Home.

After knee replacement,
Orthopaedic surgeon : u will have to use walker for few days after surgery.
Santa: ok, will Johnny Walker be okay?

Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa had a leakage in the roof over his dining room.
Plumber asked: "Sir when did u notice it ??"
Santa: "Last night.... when it took me 3 hours to finish my soup"

Santa: If I start driving my CAR @ sunrise, I won't b able 2 cover even half of my estate by sunset...
Banta: Even I Had such a useless car but i sold it...

Very short joke. Santa was feeling Happy
.
.
.
then Happy slapped him

Santa : U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Santa: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio!

NOW THE LAST ONE ULTIMATE:
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..
Santa: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Santa: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Santa: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Santa: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car.
Santa: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Banta: Dont worry, I have one more

Best Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa RETURNS
Boss: Where were you born?
Santa: India ..
Boss: which part?
Santa: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

Police: R u married?
Santa: Yes, with a woman.
Police (angrily) : Of course! Did u even hear of anyone marrying a man?
Santa: Yes, my sister did....!!!

Employee: Sir, Banta Singh is standing outside your cabin with a bunch of underwears in a basket!
Boss: Oh shit! I told him to debrief his team and meet me in 15 mins

Santa: I'm going to watch "Mission Impossible" tonite.
Banta: On cable or at theater?
Santa: Not the film, my wife bought slim fit jeans & she is going to try it !!

Teacher: Tell me the difference between a Callgirl, Girlfriend and Wife.
The whole class became silent till little Santa Singh put up his hand and answered: Prepaid, Postpaid and Unlimited.

Santa and Banta are looking through an e-shopping website.
Santa: "Look at these gorgeous women. The price are reasonable too".
Banta agress: "I'am Ordering one now!"

3 weeks later
Santa "Has your Women turned up yet?"
Banta:"No... but it shouldn't be long now. Her clothes arrived yesterday."

Teacher: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Santa: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Santa: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

Santa: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Banta: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!

Santa: I think that girl is deaf..
Banta: How do u know?
Santa: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Popular Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Santa: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Interviewer: Just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Santa: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
Santa writes: "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.

One tourist from U.S.A. asked Santa: Any great man born in this village???
Santa: no sir, only small Babies!!!

After returning back from a foreign trip, santa asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Santa: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

Manager asked Santa at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Santa replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X

What happens when a Santa's wife delivers twins????
The Santa does not sleep whole night, thinking who is the father of second child...

Santa went to Art Gallery
Santa : I suppose this horrible luking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Santa & wife buy coffee in a shop.
Santa: Drink quickly before it gets cold.
Wife: Why?
Santa: Hot coffee $5 and cold coffee $10.

New Santa Banta Jokes in English

Why can't Santa dial Nine-Eleven (911) at emergency?
They cannot find the eleven on the phone.

What does a Santa do after taking a Xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Teacher told all students to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Santa
He wrote:'Due To Rain, No Match!'

Santa Banta Jokes In Hinglish

Santa: Mera beta motorcycle se gir gaya
Doctor: I can't understand Hindi. Can you tell in English
Santa: My londa gironda from Hero Honda !!!
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated. He drank the poison and said: "Ab kaato saalo... Sab maroge"

santa - Safola oil toh de diya bhaiya. Is kee sath ka gift nahi diya.
Shopkeeper - Isske sath koyi gift nahi hai.
Santa - Ullu matt banao isme likha hai "Cholesterol Free"

Santa - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?
Banta - I can eat 6 apples.
Santa - Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that's not an empty stomach!
Banta: Wow superb joke. I'll tell my friend..
Bant to Rahul - How many apples you can eat on an empty stomach?
Rahul - I can eat 10.
Banta - Pagal.. 6 bolti to mast joke sunati!!

Santa vs Banta. Question to both in a competition.
What is half of 8?
Santa: 4
Banta: Depend karta hai .... agar horizontally half karo to ''0'' or vertically karo to ''3''
Santa still unconcious...!!!

Santa: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ?
Santa Dad: Income Tax Returns.
Santa: Hey first part kab release hua tha?
Santa Dad: Jaa meri ma, tu shooting pe ja!!!

SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai....
Santa: Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye....

Santa ko rota dekhkar Banta ne pucha kya hua?
Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida,
ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!

Santa ke lips jale hue the
Banta:/ Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway station drop krne gaya tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya!!!.....

Shaadi mein santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha...kisi ne pucha, kab tak khaoge ?
Santa - Mai toh khud pareshan hoon .....par card me likha hai,
"Dinner 7-12pm"

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Santa: 13th October
Which year?
Santa: Oye ullu ke pathe___ EVERY YEAR

Santa found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What will come first, chicken or egg?
Oye Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Santa Banta Funny Conversation in English

On romantic date Banta's gf asks:'Darling ! On our engagement will you give me a ring?'
Santa: 'Sure ! What's your phone no.?'

Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Banta jumps from 100th floor.
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25th floor he remembers I'm unmarried!
At 10th floor he remembers I'm Banta not Santa!

Banta professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
You know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking.

Santa standing below a tube light with open mouth.
Why?
Because his doctor advised him: 'Today's dinner should be light !'

A Santa went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the Form he went to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?
Form said: 'Fill Up In Capital.'

Banta sent a letter to the Aviation Minister:
Sir, it's my humble request that the new Airport in Panvel should be named 'Bantacruz' since my brother already has one airport named after him.
'Santacruz'!!!

Santa met with and Accident and went to Hospital
Docotor: You need stiches
Santa: What will be the cost?
Doctor: Rs . 800
Santa: oh hello... I need stiches, Not embroidery work!!!

In Resume of Santa:
Strength: My Wife Manjeet
Weakness: Banta's wife Manpreet
Opportunity: When Banta is on Tour
Fear: When I am on Tour

Jagjit Singh singing - Yeh daulat b lelo, yeh shohrat bhi lelo.....
Suddenly Santa stands up & says- Main toh bahut pareshan hun, meri toh aurat b lelo....

Santa And Banta are probably the most famous set of friends in India. Santa Banta Jokes are heard and relished by any and everyone in India. T
These are lovable guys who dont care too much about their grey cells and can make you laugh at the silliest of topics.
Santa Banta jokes have regaled Indians for decades and given a lot of joy. We hope the latest Santa Banta jokes that we have listed here bring a smile on your face and ease up any tension that you may be going through right now.
Three cheers for Santa and Banta! May they live .long and keep us smiling!

In a party, Santa asked a girl sitting Alone,
"Aap dance karoge"..??
Ladki khadi ho gayi aur boli"Haan Jarur"..
Santa: "Toh me ye chair le lu"?

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

Santa: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Santa: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio!'

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..
Santa: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Santa joined new job. 1st day she worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Santa: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Santa: What is the name of your car?
Pooja: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Santa: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Santa and Pooja were fixing a bomb in a car.
Pooja: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Santa: Dont worry, I have one more.

Media: Where were you born?
Santa: India ..
Media: which part?
Santa: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India

Santa Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha
Kyu Tension Me Ho..
Santa:Yaar,Ek Dost Ko
Plastic Surgery
K Liye 2 Lakh Diye
Ab Saale Ko
Pehchaan Nahi Pa raha hu.

Santa Makes call to Airport.... how long is the journey from punjab to America?
Receptionist: 1 second sir....
.
.
.
Santa disconnects and says.... peeke bethi hai chudail.... :-

Santa to Banta :- Agr tu bata de ki meri Tokri me kya h. toh tokri k aadhe Ande tere..
Aur ye bhi batade ki Ande Kitne h... . to 10 k 10 tere....
Aur agar ye Bhi bata de ki Ande Kiske h... . to Murgi bhi teri.... .
Banta :- Abey koi HINT TO De

Bank manager asks Santa in an interview: "What is cyclone"
Santa: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Santa: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting,
but forgot to stop it!!

MD: I give you driver job. Starting salary is 2000 Rs.
Santa: Oh, thank you. What is the driving salary and stopping salary?

Santa to a doctor: Mera beta motorcycle se gir gaya
Doctor: I can't understand Hindi. Can you tell in English
Santa: My londa gironda from Hero Honda !!!!

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).
Santa replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."

Salesman: Sir, do you want this powder ?
Santa: For what ?
Salesman: For ants
Santa: No. If I give powder today, they will ask lipstick tomorrow!!!

Latest Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa: Oye.. Mera mobile bill kitna hai ?
Call Centre Girl: Sir, just dial 123 to get your current bill status.
Santa: Abbey STUPID, current ka nahi mobile ka bill chaahiye !

After returning home from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife: "Do I look like a foreigner ?"
Wife: "No.. Why ?"
Santa: "In London, a lady asked me whether I am a foreigner !!"

Napoleon: There are no words called IMPOSSIBLE and FEAR in my dictionary.
Santa: What should I do ? You should have checked it before buying !!!

How do you identify a Santa in a classroom ?
It is simple.. check who's erasing his notes when the teacher is cleaning the board. !!!!

Santa was writing past tence of "I make a mistake"
Guess what he wrote ?
"I was made by a mistake"

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated. He drank the poison and said: "Ab kaato saalo... Sab maroge"

Jagjit Singh singing- Yeh daulat bhi lelo, yeh shaurat bhi lelo..
Suddenly Santa stands up & says-Main toh bahut pareshan hoon, meri toh aurat bhi lelo..

Sata Bank me paise jama karane gaya.
Cashier - Tumhare Note nakli hai.
Santa - Tujhe kya farak padata hai? Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na..!!

Santa Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha Kyu Tension Me Ho..
Santa: Yaar, ek Dost Ko Plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye. Ab Saale Ko Pehchaan Nahi Pa raha hu !

100 metre ki race ho rahi thi...
Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'...
Everybody started running except Santa.
Referee - y r u not running...?
Santa - My number is 4

Santa to Banta : Agr tu bata de ki meri Tokri me kya h, toh tokri k aadhe Ande tere..
Aur ye bhi batade ki Ande Kitne h... to 10 k 10 tere....
Aur agar ye Bhi bata de ki Ande Kiske h... . to Murgi bhi teri.... .
Banta :- Abey koi HINT TO De!

Santa: meri biwi jawaan hai.
Banta: toh border pe bhej de

Popular Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa: Scientists have found ice and water On moon! We just need to carry whisky and chips with us. Banta: Why?
Santa: Can't depend on Scientists for everything !!!!

Santa & Wife Travelling in Bus -
? Wife- Dekho ji ye pichhe wala mere Bluoz me hath dal raha hai.
Santa- Dalne de paise to meri jeb me hai.

Wife: How much do you love me?
Santa: l love you so much, l can't measure.
Wife: No...just tell me.
Santa: Okay, l am like a cell phone & you are my sim card, l am nothing without u.
Wife: Wow! That's so romantic....
Santa:(saying to himself): Thank God! She doesn't know l'm like a China phone, with FOUR sim cards.........

Santa K Dono Kaan Jal Gaye
Doctor : Tumharey Kaan Kese jaly ?
Santa : Main Qameez Istari Kar Raha tha ke Phone Aa Gaya.
Main ne Jaldi main Phone ki Jagah Istari Kaan ko Laga Li..!
Doctor : To Doosra Kaan Kese Jala ?
. .
Santa : Ab Ambulance ko Bhi Phone Karna Tha Na..

Santa: Tum bike itni tez q chla rhe ho?
Banta: Ye letter urgent dena hai
Santa: Kaha?
Banta: Address padhne ka time nai hai.
Santa: Ok go fast.!

Santa Ne Ek Din Badi Udasi Se Apne Dost Banta Ko Bola.
Santa: "Yaar Meri Biwi Gussa Bahut Karti Hai"
Banta: "Meri Bhi Pahle Karti Thi Ab Nahi Karti"
Santa: "Achha, Aisa Tum Ne Kya Elaaj Kiya?"
Banta Muskurate Hue: "Kuch Khas Nahi, Wo Ek Din Gusse Mein Thi, Maine Kah Diya Ke Budhape Mein Gussa Aa Hi Jata Hai, Us Din Se Wo Gussa Nahi Karti"

Teacher- jo mere sawal ka sahi jawab dega wo ghar ja sakta hai.
Ussi waqt santa ne apna bag bahar fek diya.
Teacher- wo bag kisne feka?
Santa- maine..ab main ghar jau???

Sir: Define Energy ?
Santa: Sir pura nai aata hain, thoda last ka pata hain, bas.
Sir: Thik hain, jitna aata hain utna bolo.
Santa: ".....and this is called Energy"

Santa flight me pilot ka headphone cheen raha tha....
Pilot:-Ye kya kar rahe ho..?.
Santa:- Accha ji Ticket hum le aur Gaane tum suno...!!
Santa: Interview kaisa hua?
Banta: Thik hua yaar, par aakhir mein woh angrezi me kuchh bola... "Show me your testimonials."
Santa: Toh Phir?
Banta: Mujhe lagta hai ki main galat cheez dikha ke aaya hoon...

Banta noticed that Santa was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.
"Well," said Santa, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Banta.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."
"That's easy," said Banta. "You just say 'Of course I will'."
"Yeah," said Santa, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"

Trending Santa Banta Jokes in English

Doctor: Roz 5 km walk karo, to 1 sal me 50 kg wajan kum ho jayega..
1 saal baad santa phone pe: Wajan to kam ho gaya, magar saale ghar kaise jau 1825 km door aa gaya hun.
Santa aur Banta 8th mein aathvi Baar Fail Ho gaye
Santa: Chal Suicide kar lein.
Banta: Saale, Pagal Ho Gaya Hai ??
Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru karna padega.

Santa: Shirt ke liye ek acha kapda dikhaiye.
Salesman: Plain main dikhaun?
Santa: Nahin helicopter main dikha!
saale bandar ki aulad.. Yahin pey dikha!!
Doctor: Do exercise daily for good health.
Santa: Sir I play football, cricket, daily.
Doctor: How long do you play?
Santa: Until the battery in my mobile goes down!!

Santa was writing something very slowly.
Banta: Why are you writing so slowly?
Santa: I am writing to my 5 years old kid Jhurlu, he can't read very fast.

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it. Banta: Is this dog faithful ? Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

Santa: What is the difference between "complete and finish"?
Banta: When you marry a right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!! Santa Singh's lover asked: Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?
"Sure", replied Santa, "What's your phone number?"

Teacher : santa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Santa : You told me to do it without using tables.

Once Santa was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told "WAIT SIR" for which santa replied "65Kgs"

Santa Singh: "My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold."
Banta Singh: "Does it work?"
Santa Singh: "I don't know.. I can never finish drinking the hot bath."

Mrs Banta phoned Banta in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner."
"Good" replied Banta, "make sure she`s prepared well".

Santa: Go and water the plants.
Servant: it's already raining.
Santa: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

"Darling" said Santa to his new bride. "Now that we are married ,do you think you can live on my small income?". "Ofcourse dearest", she replied. "But what will you live on?"

Popular Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa threw his watch off the balcony of his house on the tenth floor. He ran downstairs and still managed to catch it. How did he do that? Because Santa's watch is always ten minutes slow.

Santa checked his girlfriend's mobile to know under what name she had saved his number. When he dialed his number form her phone, it showed "TIMEPASS NO. 8"

Santa is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room doesn't flush so he runs to the lobby to use the men's room but none of the stalls are free. He runs back to his room ,uproots a plant and shits in the pot .Then he puts the plant back and leaves. A week later he gets a postcard from the hotel that says" Dear Sir...all is forgiven...just tell us....where is it?"

Once Santa brought his girlfriend home for dinner. This was her first time meeting the family so she was tremendously nervous. This along with the broccoli she ate gave her a little gas so she let out a small noiseless fart but it turned out to be loud enough for the family to hear. Right then Santa's father shouted at the dog sitting next to her chair, "Ginger!". She was relieved. Next time she let out a louder one and again Santa's father shouted at the dog, "Ginger!" he said. Finally she let a really loud one out that sounded like a train whistle and the father said "Ginger!!!!! Move from there before she shits on you!!!"

Santa walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. As he sips the beer he hears a soothing voice say "nice tie". He looks around and is baffled to see that there is no one there except him and the bartender at the other end of the room. A few sips later the voice says "beautiful shirt".Santa panics and calls the bartender over and says "I must be losing my mind, I can hear these voices say nice things but there is no one else except you and me" , the bartender points to the table and says "oh it's the peanuts , they are complimentary

Inappropriate things that Santa tells his kid
-Beta why is a cemetery so popular?
Everyone is DYING to get in.
-Beta do you need a hand with that?
Haan papaji
Santa starts clapping.
-After watching his son slip on the slide, Santa says, "Happy journey Beta!!!!"
-Santa's son asks for 100 bucks.
Santa says " 50 bucks? What do you need 20 bucks for?"

Santa is the true music lover.
A girl is singing in a bathroom while taking a bath and Santa is near the keyhole listening to her.

Santa being romantic to his wife.
"One day God tested me , erased all my memory and asked do you remember anyone now?
I told Him your name and He replied, "I am sorry some viruses cannot be formatted""

Santa's wife hit him on the head with the frying pan.
Santa: What was that for?
Santa's Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the same BASANTI on it.
Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse.
Santa's wife: Oho Sorry
Next day she hit him with the frying pan again.
Santa: now what happened?
Santa's wife: your horse is on the phone.

Santa tells his dad, "Pappaji there is this kid in school who calls me gay"
Santa's Dad:" Oye beta then punch him!!!"
Santa: " No papa he is sooooooo cute!!!"

Do you drink? Girl's father asked Santa. Santa says " first tell me whether it's a question or invitation?"

Santa taking grammar lessons
"If more than one mouse is mice then more than one spouse is spice!!!!"

Officer Santa: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.
Lady: why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer Santa: That is not restricted.

Santa: oye waiter ek mast chai pilao jo pura badan hila de.
Waiter: hamare yahan gaai ka doodh aata hai , Rakhi Sawant ka nahin.

Santa's wife: Oye JI stop looking at other women you are married now.
Santa: Arre you mean if I am on diet I cant look at the menu also?

Santa and Banta were looking at an Egyptian Mummy at a museum.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Banta: Yes you are right. See lorry number is also written BC 1760 !!!

Teacher: Which animal flies in the air, but gives birth to young ones on land?
Santa (excited for the first time because he knows the answer)
Santa: AIRHOSTESS!!!!

Best Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa: That girl is deaf
Banta: How do you know?
Santa: I said I love her, she said her chapels are new

Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

Banta: When I get mad at u, u never fight back. How do u control ur anger?
Preeto: I clean the toilet.
Banta: How does that help?
Preeto: I use ur toothbrush.

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Santa bought a car on loan.. He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

Titanic was sinking. Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilo meter.
Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "..In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards!

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job."
Banta: "Did you?"
Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."

Banta ek Sadhu se bola: " Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao."
Sadhu: "Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?"

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first -
the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in m! edical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Most Liked Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon
reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,
aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

Santa:Q: Why dogs don't marry? BantaA: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

Santa Singh while riding a cycle suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!

Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up.

Best Santa Banta Jokes in English

How do you recognize a Santa in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chicks to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chicks because all of the first lot had died.
Another month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chicks, for the second lot had also died.
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa. 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

How did Panditji Kill a Lion?
Panditji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let the lion eat me.
Hari Om!

Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Santa goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

Santa & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Santa says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Santa says hot coffee Rs.5 and cold coffee Rs.10.

Santa had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again he had twins & named them Peter & Repeater.
Again he had twins & named them Max & Climax.
Next time he had twins, disgusted Santa named them TIRED & RETIRED!

Santa: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Banta: Y?
Santa: Got upper berth.
Banta: Y did'nt u try to Xchnge?
Santa: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

Santa tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b there.............
Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.........WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".

Santa and his family went for a party. He introduces himself -
I'm sardar, she sardarnee, the boy my kid & the girl my kidney....

Favorite Santa Banta Jokes in English

Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

On a romantic date Santa's girl friend asks him "Darling on our engagement, will you give me a ring?
He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?

A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing? Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.

The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far? Instead u could have posted it....

What does Santa do after taking a xerox?
He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Santa proposed to a girl......
Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elder to you'.
Santa said: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you next year.

A Santa went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C. After Seeing he went to Delhi. Guess why?
The FORM said "FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

A Teacher was lecturing on Population Explosion - "In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid."
Santa stood up and said - "we must find & stop her!".

Santa - "why are all these people running?" Banta - "This is a race, the winner will get the cup." Santa - "If only the winner will get the cup, why are the others running?"

19 Santas went to watch a film.
On being questioned about the big group, they replied that the film was only for above 18...

Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.
Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Santa recently found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What came first, the Chicken or the Egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Santa: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

Trending Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly.
Banta asks why he does this.
Santa: "I've been promoted as branch manager."

Santa was filling up an application form for a job. He was not sure as to what was to be filled in the column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, he jumps from the 100th floor
At the 50th floor, he remembers he doesn't have a daughter!
At the 25th flr: He's unmarried!
At the 10th: He's Banta not Santa.

Santa wins 20 cr from a Rs. 20 lottery ticket. The Dealer gives him 11 cr after deducting taxes.
Angry Santa: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!"

When Santa & his wife filed an application for divorce, the Judge asked: "How will you divide, you have 3 children?"
Pat came Santa's reply: "Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR."

Santa's wish: When I die, I wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep?
Not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Santa was writing something very slowly.
Banta asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?"
Santa: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast."s

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

Santa Banta Funny Conversation In Hindi

Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

Santa: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..?
Biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When Banta asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

Santa to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao.
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,
Santa: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Pappu was writing his father’s name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

Santa to Pappu: Where’s Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who’s Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

Santa Banta Hindi Jokes

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

Santa to Pappu: Where’s Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who’s Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

Santa ne ek maachis ki tili jalai woh nahin jali,
doosri jalai who bhi nahin jali,teesri jalai to wo jal gayi,
santa ne use jaldi se bujha diya aur aur bola,
“mere kaam ki hai,ise rakh leta hoon.”

Santa:-meri dictionary main namumkin shabd nahin hai.
Banta:-are yaar dictionary kharidne se pahle check kar lena chahiye na.

Santa:-are yaar banta tere daant kaise toot gaye?
Banta:-hasne ke karan.
Santa:-who kaise?
Banta:-are yaar main ek pehalwan ko dekh kar han pada.

Trending Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

Santa apni girl friend ko ‘I Luv U’ kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.

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Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai

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Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto.
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’?

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Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.

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Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

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Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi…
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

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Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

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Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

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Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

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Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

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Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

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Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

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A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

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At the scene of an accident, a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

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In an interview:
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

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Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated…
He drank poison & said: Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

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Captain of Military: Naujawano, aage bado…
(Santa aage nahin bada)
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha…

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Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bada afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

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Santa apni khoobsurat Bivi k saath car mein baitha.
Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bivi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

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Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

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Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?

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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: King Ashoka’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Ashoka”s skeleton when he was child

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Napoleon: There is no such word as ‘Impossible’ in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi …!

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Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

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Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

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Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: ‘Le Karle Number Note’

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Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

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Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo. Maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

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Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

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Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ‘Free Delivery’

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Santa Banta hindi Funny Jokes

In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai

Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped – paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.

Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar… NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 151 Characters
Santa apni GF ko I love u kehta aur gir jata.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa : I am falling in love.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 109 Characters
Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai “aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12”.

Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya.
Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi.
Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi..

Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai “aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12”.

Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya.
Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi.
Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi..

Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to…?

Santa’s urine report got exchanged with a ladies pregnancy report.
Dr. told santa, “you are pregnant”.
Angry santa shouts at wife, “Maine pehle hi kaha tha, mujhe upar rehne de”.

Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai!
Maa: Bolo beta.
Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki.
Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.

Santa was inserting dog’s tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.

Santa: “Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?”
Banta: “B.A.”
Santa: “Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?”

Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja…

Funny Joke In Hindi Santa Banta

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to…?

Santa’s urine report got exchanged with a ladies pregnancy report.
Dr. told santa, “you are pregnant”.
Angry santa shouts at wife, “Maine pehle hi kaha tha, mujhe upar rehne de”.

Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai!
Maa: Bolo beta.
Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki.
Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.

Santa was inserting dog’s tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.

Santa: “Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?”
Banta: “B.A.”
Santa: “Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?”

Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja…

Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

What’s Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What’s Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.

Q: A Man asked Santa, “Akal badhi ya bhains? ”
A: Santa bola, “Pehle date of birth to batao.”

Santa Banta Jokes in English

Bank manager asks Santa in an interview: "What is cyclone"
Santa: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Santa: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting,
but forgot to stop it!!

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks
Santa replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."

Salesman: Sir, do you want this powder ?
Santa: For what ?
Salesman: For ants
Santa: No. If I give powder today, they will ask lipstick tomorrow!!

How do you identify a Santa in a classroom ?
It is simple.. check who's erasing his notes when the teacher is cleaning the board. !!!!
Santa was writing past tense of "I make a mistake"
Guess what he wrote ?
"I was made by a mistake"
The most dangerous joke till date:Banta: How the word 'Wife' was invented?
Santa: They took the first two and last two letters of 'Wildlife'!

Best Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha!
Jailor: Kyon has rahe ho?
Sardar: Mai to uthta hi subha 9 baje hu!

Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mai hole kyu?
Santa bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

Shopkeeper: This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir.
Santa: You see I m not interested in the morals of the sheep.Just tell me, will it keep me warm?

Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nhi pata

santa;mujhe us ladki se bachao
banta:kyo?
santa:jabse maine kaha dil cheer k dekh tera hi naam hoga sali chaku leke piche pad gyi hai

Santa pe bijli ka taar gir gaya.
Santa tarap tarap k marne hi wala tha ki use yaad aya ki bijli to 2 din se band hai....

Banta Cigratte pe 2 metre pipe laga kr pe raha tha.
Santa : Tu pipe laga kar cig Q pe raha hai
Banta : Doctor ne kaha, Cig-Bidi se dur rehna.

santa=mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gaya
banta=fir kya kiya?
santa=maine kaha google pe search karlo, mil jaye to download kr lena.

santa 2 doctor-apne kaha tha ki subah khelne se sehat thik rehti hai pr muje to koi fark nai pada?
doctor-konsa game khelteho?
santa-mobile mai snake wala

Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga
Banta: Kya hua kyo ro rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai

Ek baar santa ko koi 8th floor par bulata hai. Jb vo vaha jata hai to flat ke samne likha rehta hai "Santa April Fool" to
Santa likhta hai "Mai to yahan pr aya hi nhi tha.'

Jaj : Suna hai pichale 10 saal se tmne apni biwi ko dara dhamka k rakha hai.
Santa : Par Janab
Jaj : Safai ki jarurat nahi bas itna batao ye tumne kiya kaise

Santa Ko Beta Hua. Use Jyotish Ke Pass Le Gaye
Jyotish:Ye Jiska Naam Pehle Bolega Wo mar Jyega
Baccha Bola "PAPA" Aur Dusre Din Padosi Mar Gya

Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta: nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen ke kha lena.

SANTA:Lalaji dettol soap hai,
Lala:ha,
santa:acha vala hai,
Lala:ha,
Santa: achi quality ka hai,
Lala:ha bhai ha,
Santa: thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do..

santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi
banta:- saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga
santa:- dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar

Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta- to isme prob kya hai?
Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nhi

Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?

Banta: Yeh chaku kyu ubal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zarurat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaye.

Santa:Train me raat bhar nind nhi ayi,
upr ki seat mili thi, garmi bahut thi.
Banta:To xchnge krna tha
Santa:Kisse krta?
Niche ki seat pe koi aya hi nahi.

Santa - My wife died yesterday..
Im trying to cry but tears are not come out,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back.

Train Chali, Santa 1 Dibbe Mai Char Gaye..
TT Bola: Kyun Paa Ji, Nazar Nhe Aate, Ye Ladies Ka
Dibba Hai.
Santa Ji: Sorry Ji, Mere Ko Laga Aap Mard Ho.

Hindi Santa Banta Jokes

Srdar got new job:
1st day he spent 11 hours on computer:
Boss was happy & asked what he did?
Sardar replied: Keybord te ABC agy pichy lagi c, O sidi kiti ae.

santa in Coffee shop wth wife.
santar:Jldi Pi, Coffee thandi ho Jaye gi.
Wife:ki frk painda hai?
Srdar: Bywakof Rate List dekh
Hot coffee Rs.15
Cold coffee.45

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...

Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.
Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing? Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.

Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.........WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Santa In a Plane
Feels Vomiting & ask 4 a
Vomit Bag, Air Hostess
Gives Him The Bag After
Few Minutes When She
Comes Back Evry1 Was
Vomiting Except Sardar g
She Was Surprisd & Askd
"Santa g In Sab ko Kia Hua?"
Santa: "Me Ulti Kiti Ena Lokan
Nu Buri Lagi Te Me Wapis Pee Gya ... "

Banta Singh: "Yaar Santa,
Last Year The Name-Plate Outside ur House Read Santa Singh B.A.
This Year It Read Santa Singh M.A.,
Wen Did u Finish urs Masters Degree?
Santa Singh: "You Don''t Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again.
Den I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is Married Again

Santa aur us Banta tange mai beth kr ja rhe the
k achanak ghodi ne gobar kr dia.
.
Yeh dekh kr santa banta se kehne laga
dekho dunia kitni tezi se tarki kr rhi hai
yaha bi kima nikalne ki mashin laga di.

Santa Ek Baraf Ka Tukda Utha Kar Use Gaur Se Dekh Raha Tha.Banta- Kya Dekh Rahe He??
Santa- Dekh Raha Hu Ye Leak Kaha Se Ho Raha He!!

Sardar Apne Ghar Ka
Darwaza Kandhe Pe Utha
Kr Ja Raha Tha ..
Kisi Ne Poocha
Sardar g Kithy Ja Rhy Ho ???
Sardar g Ne Kaha:
Tala Khulwane ...

A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said 'CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA' And died.
SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,
that was:-
KUTTE OXYGEN KE PIPE SE PAIR UTHA.

jokes-in-hindi-santa-banta | hindi-sms-jokes | jokes santa banta | santa-banta-jokes-hindi

Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions
Teacher-If 1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then , For 3000 Kgs
How Much?
Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!

Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.Santa: Kyaa..
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"

Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho

Santa ke ghar Ladki ne janam liya..
Banta: jab ladki badi hogi to ladke ise chedenge.
Santa: Maine iska intejaam kar liye hai.
Banta: kya kiya?
Santa: Ladki ka naam DIDI rakh diya hai..

Santa was riding on a horse,
He jumped the red light & a cop whistles'
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says,"Le Karle Number Note"..
Web best Humor & funny stuff - Sardarji jokes, short, Punjabi sardar jokes, Sardar jokes in English.

Sardarji: Me E-Mail bnana hu. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha.Sardarji Friend : Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga.

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student."My father cooks beans," said another.
Then a Little Santa spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.

Santa Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho GayiKyun...
Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The..

Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this babys voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this..

Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON

A MAN TO SANTA-- UR FRND IS KISSING UR WIFE IN UR HOME,
HE RUSHES TO HIS HOME
AND COME WITH IN HALF AN HOUR N
SLAPPED TAT MAN N SAID--
HE WAS NOT MY FRND..

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!

Santa k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:
Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Santa ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?
Santa : sirf yehi apka bacha hai.

SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,Dost: Garam pani Q?
Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & prayingSanta: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver

Santa:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
Santa :- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain.

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa : Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa : Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Santa: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Santa : Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

Santa: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Santa : Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol..

Boss: Where were you born?
Santa : India ..
Boss: which part?
Santa : What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

Santa waiting at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no moreSanta: Salea Morniya char liya, meri bari no more.
How to be funny all the time ? How to be funny ? How to make first impression towards girl ? How to be funny around girls ? For all these you should know decent jokes, funny things to say, best jokes, funny sayings, SMS jokes Santa Banta. New and latest jokes all free.

Pappu: What''s the difference between Confidence and Confidential?Santa: u r my son I''m Confident. ur friend is also my son, that''s Confidential.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying:O God! I have lost my hand , oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Santa sitting on the roadside:
Banta asks y r u wasting time?Santa: I'm taking revenge?
Banta: How?
Santa: Waqt ne mujhe barbad kia he, ab mein waqt ko barbad karta hun.

Santa: Mobile me kuch MP3 Songs Load karwana hai.Servicing Man: Memory card hai?
Santa: Nahi! Ration Card chalega kya?

Santa On 60th Birthday:
Banta: Ye Cake Pe Bulb Q Lagaya Hai?
Santa: 60 Candles Lagane Me Mushkil Ho Rahi Thi.
.
.
Isliye 60 Watt k Bulb Laga Diya.

1 Aadmi Santa ki Betay Se Puchhta Hai:
Beta Papa Ghar Main Hain?Santa Ka Beta Sprite Pete Huye
Uncle Seedha Bolo Mummy Se Milna Hai.
Seedhi Baat No Bakwas. :-)

Santa: Mere Pass Gaddi Hai, Banglow Hai, Paisa Hai.
Tumhare Paas Kya Hai?Banta: Mere Pass Bhi Gaddi Hai, Banglow Hai, Paisa Hai.
.
.
Santa: To Saaley Apni Maa Kiske Paas Hai?

Santa Aur Banta Ne Zindagi Mai Pehli Baar Rickshaw Dekha.
Santa: Dekho Kitna Chhota Tanga.
Banta: Haan!
Aur Gadha to Dekho,
Aadmi Jaisa Dikhta Hai. :-)

Santa to Banta: I have One Good News One Bad News.
Good News is That:Meri biwi ka ACCEDENT ho gaya.
Banta: Aur Bad News?
Santa: Woh ek SAPNA tha. :-(

Santa k Ghar NAVJOT SINGH SIDDHU ki Tasvir Lagi hui Thi.
Banta: Ye Kyon Laga Rakhi Hai?
Santa: LAUGHING BUDDHA Lene Gaya Tha.
Dukandar ne Kaha Ye LATEST Hai. :-)

Santa and Banta in Examination Hall:
Santa: Exam Sheet pe Starting main kya likh Don?Banta: "Is Answer Sheet Pe jo bhi likha hoga Wo kisi Ques aur Teacher aur School se related nahin hain And ye sub imiginary aur iska ksi se koi Sarokar Nahin Hai"

Inspector 2 Santa:
Phansi Se Pehly, Bata Teri Aakhri
Khwahish Kia Ha?
Santa:Mery Pair Uper Or Sir Neechy kr
K Phansi De Do-:)

Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night.
DR: take this tablet you will be ok.
Sardar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they r studying him!

Master: Mai tenu kutte pe essay likhne ho
keha tha, Likh k kyu nhi liya ?
Santa: Ki krda master g,
kahi bhi mai kutte pe Pen rkha wo bhagya!!!

Santa: "God, if u give me 100 rs, I will donate 50 rs in tmpl".(After waliking sm distance, he finds a 50 rs note)
Santa: "Shame on u God, u don't even trust me a little? u hv already takn ur share!"

Masterji: kl school kyu nhi aya.
Santa: Gir gya tha or lg gayi.
Masterji: kaha gire, kaha lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur ANKH lg gyi..

Santa: Agr tmhe kuch ho gya to mai Pagal ho jaunga.
Jeto: Dusri shadi to nhi kroge?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kr skta hai..

Santa-Beta agr tm fail ho jao to mujhe papa mt kehna
(Some days later)
Papa-Bete result ka kya hua?
Santa-Dimag kharab mt kr "MangiLal

Girl:- Jaldi khidki se kudo, papa aa gye hai.
Boy:- Lekin ye 13v mnzil hai,
Girl:- Janu ye shagun - apshagun sochne ka waqt nhi hai jaldi kudo.

A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran awy
Sardar ran 2 catch d donkey.
He saw a zebra & startd beating it & said
"SALA Tracksuit pahn k dhoka De raha hai".

Santa nd Banta in a football stadium..
Santa : Paji, ye log ball se kya kr rhe hai?
Banta : goal kr rhe hain!!!
Santa :"lekin paji ball to pehle se gol hai , or kitni gol Krenge?"

Santa ( to his son ) : Itne km marks? do thappad marne chayiye.......!
Santa's son : Haan papa.. chalo...mene us master ka ghr dekha hai.....!

Once Banta got a party invitation saying..... Black tie only !
At the party, Banta ws vry shocked 2 see othr ppl wearing suits also !!!!!!

Patient: Santa, ye phulo ki mala kis k liye?
Santa: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nhi to tmhare liye.

Santa ws getting bitten by mosquitoes d whole night.
He got irritated… Drank poison said, “ab kato salo, sb maroge!”

Santa traveling in a train gets down in evry station n buy ticket 4 next station.Guess Why?
Bcoz doctor told 2 him avoid Long Journey

Sardar is driving a jeep in jungle.Tourist: If lion follows very close to us then how can we escape?
Sardar:Give right indicator & take left turn.:-)

Santa: Mere pass gaddi,bungla,paisa hai..tere pass kya hai?Banta:Mere pass bhi gaddi,bungla,paisa hai
Santa:Mar gaye..Phir apni Maa kiske pass hai?

SANTA Ur son is Dead.Aftr Hearing Dis Santa jumps frm 50th floor.
Wen he reachd 35th Flr he think "I dnt hav Son"
20th Floor:
I'm not married
&
3rd Floor:
Shit! I'm BANTA.

Judge: Why were u arrested?
Santa: For shopping early.
Judge: Well, that's not a crime. Anyway, how early were u shopping?
Santa: Before the shop opened.

Santa: Will U marry, after I die.
Jeeto: No, I will live with my sister. Jeeto: Will U marry, after I die.
Santa: No, I will also live with your sister.

2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.
Santa:What does your wife look like?
Banta:She is 5'7", 36-24-36 sexy figure, fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours?
Santa: Forget mine, let us look for yours.

1 Chor Santa ka mobile le k bhag raha tha
Santa:Bhag sale Bhag bhag
Charger toh mere pas hai

Enjoy more Desi & Indian Collection Jokes on Sardar

Sardar to his friend.. I kiss my wife everyday before i go to office..& u?
Friend: i kiss ur wife after u go to office.
Sardar: ha ha ha..i m the first..

Santa:Papa aaj meri Girl4nd ki birhday he. Use kya du..?
Papa:Dekhne me kaisi hai?
Santa:Mast hai..
Papa:Mera mobile number de de!

One day Sardar went to a shop.
.
.
.
.
Let him go. You do ur job. Always dont expect jokes on him..

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS: “Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Make big smile to your lover, girlfriend, special friend, wife, husband, dost, yaar sending - Sardar jokes SMS, latest Sardar jokes - on their mobile. Also read funny punjabi jokes desi, Indian. Enjoy new & nice collection all free...

Sardar: Kal koi mera purse maar gaya us mein 2000 rupees thy, Pathan: Jhooty,1500 thy maine ghar ja kar khud giny thy. Sardar: Paise ka masla nahi hai bas tum admi ka pata karo.

Pathan:Yaar tum subha se zameen khod rahe ho kya baat hai aakhir ? . . . Sardar:Yaar abba kehta hai maine unka naam mitti mein mila dia hai so mein wohi dhoond raha hun.

Sardar:Mere liye koi achi si larki ka rishta bata. Friend:Yaar ek larki hai B.com ki, Sardar:Yaar Qom koi bhi ho par larki parhi likhi honi chahiye.

Ek sardar ko koi mobile pe tang kar raha tha, Sardar ne new sim khareed kar usko sms kiya: "MAINE WO NUMBER BAND KAR DIYA HAI AB TERA BAAP BHI MUJHE TANG NAHI KAR SAKTA "

Friend to sardar:
Yar Sir Ka Msg Aaya Hai K Aaj Extra Class Hogi Kya Karun?
.
.
..
...Sardar:-'Message sending failed' likh ke bhej de....

jokes on sardar | sardarji jokes

Computer teacher to sardar:What are the three latest versions of java ? Sardar:

Man: How was your exam today ?
Sardar: Fine, except for one question which was difficult
Man: Which one ?
Sardar: What is the past tense of THINK ?
I thought..i thought ..i thought about it and wrote THUNK ;-)

Teacher: Who's A Terrorist?Santa: Terrorist Is A Tourist Who Comes From Other CouNtry To Celebrate Diwali iN Our CouNtry.

Santa: Why Do Girls Look Beautiful? Is It Real Or Due To Make Up?
Banta: All False.
Girls Look Beautiful Because Boys Have Good Imagination

Santa: Give Me An Idea
To Become Poor
Banta: Make A Hindi
Film With Himesh As
Hero ..
Santa: I Asked Idea To
Become Poor Not A
Beggar .. ;->

Once Santa was trying 2 impress a young lady.Santa:I have seen u some where.
Lady:Possible,i am a nurse working in MENTAL HOSPITAL!!

Santa: "Madam these undergarments will look nice on U"
Lady: How can U be so sure?
Santa: i'have done diploma in interior designing

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.
2.Weakness:Banta ' s wife,Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat:When I am on tour

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks ' tamil therima??'
Santa got mad, angrily replied..
'Hindi tera baap!!!'

Santa Ne Bus Me Ek Ladki Ko Chhed Diya.Ladki- Tumhare Ghar Me Maa Behen Nahi He Kya??
Santa- Kya Pata Me To Subah Se Ghar Se Bahar Hu..
Sardar Jokes in Hindi, Cheer Up Your Friend! Make your friend's day a smile-filled day. Bring a big smile on your friend's face sending new, latest, sardar jokes in hindi.

Sardar: Yar Mere Bal Boht Gir Rahe HainFrnd: Wo Kyun?
Sardar: Fikr Se?
Frnd: Konsi Fikr Hai Tume?
Sardar: Bal Girne Ki Fikr Se:-)

Santa:Mujhe Tou AankheyBand Karney Par Bhi Dikhayi Deta Hai.
Banta:Achchaa, Kya Dikhta Hai?
Santa:Andhera.

Santa Invested 2 Lakhs
In A Business And Suffered Huge Losses.
Do U Know What The Business Was?
He Opened A Saloon In Punjab!

SArdar In UK Hotel Khana Khane GiaWo Murgi Khana Chahta Tha Lekin Murgi Ki English Bhol Gia
Thy Askd Wht Do U Want SRdar G?
SArdar Replid: Éggs'' Mother

Santa - Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai,
Sara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.
Banta- Soja-Soja Ghar Girega
To Makaan Maalik Ka,
Hum To Kirayedar Hain..

Santa-Oye Kya Kr Raha Ho?
Banta-Is Baby Ki Aawaz Record Kr Raha Hun!
Santa-Kyun?
Banta-Wo Jab Bada Ho Jaega,Use Iska Matlab Puchunga

A Sardar Prays Daily For 2 Hours
"Hey Vahey Guru Meri Lottery Lagade.
After 11 Yrs Vaheguru Angrily Appears &
Says
-Oey Uloo De Pathay Ticket To Le Le.

Santa- Yaar!
A Auratein Sharab
Se Nafrat Q Karati Hai?
Banta- Islye Ki,
Sharab Pine Ke
Baad Chuhe Jaisa
Pati Bhi Sher
Ho Jata Hai.

Teacher:Wo Kon C Cheez Hay
Jo Insan Ke Izzat Ko MazbootiSay Jakray Rakhti Hay?
Sardar Je: MISS
"NARRA":-)

Sardar Ki Maa
Puttar Tujhay Yahan Se
Jalindhar Janay Mein 1 Din Laga
Aur
Wapas Aanay Mein 3 Din Wo B Naye Car Se
Srdar : Maa Ye Car Bananay Wale Bhi
Pagal Hein Janay K Liay 4 Gear
Or Aanay Ke Liay Sirf 1 (Revers) Gear.

Santa Shouting 2 His GF
" U Said V Will Do Register
Marriage And Cheated Me,
I Was Waiting 4 U
Yesterday Whole Day
In The Post Office...."

Sardar Was Sleeping In His
Bed Room With His WifeWhy Are You Scrolling Down
So Fast.
Let Him Sleep With His Wife

Ek baar Santa
Police Station K Bahar Se
Guzra Aur Poster Pe Parha
" Wanted For
RAPE & MURDER .."Santa Ne Andar Ja Ker Kaha:
" I Want To Apply For
This Job ..."

Teacher: What Is The Difference
Between Landline & Mobile?
Sardar: Landline Par Number
Hum Ungli Se Dial Karte Han
Aur Mobile Par Anguthe Se..

Sardar ne shok me roza rakh lia
he asked 2 his son:vekh,suraj dooba
son:nai g
again asked: dooba kia
son:nai g
Sardar:lagda hay menu lay k he dubay ga

Santa:Ye Gandhi Bapu Har Note Me Haste Kyu Rehte Hai?
Banta:Simple Hai Yar
Royenge To Note Geela Ho Jayega Na

Sardar K Truck K Peechay Likha Tha
"Chota Parivar Sukhi Parivar"
Or Uske Nechay
Tinu, Minu, Chintu, Chinky, Pinky, Guddu, Guddi, Sonu, Monu,
Te Sohan De Papa Di Gaddi!

Salsman-Which Soap U Use?Santa-BABA''S Soap,
BABA''S Paste,
BABA''S Brush.
Salsman-Is BABA''S A INTRNATIONAL Company?
Santa: Baba Is My Room Mate.

Fakeer 2 Santa : Apk Parosi Ne
Pet Bhar K Khana Khlaya
Hai Ap B Kuch Khilao ?Santa : Ye Lo Hajimola . . . . .

Santa:I''ve Pain In Ma Ryt Leg
Doc:Its Nothin .Its Only Coz Of Old Age.
Santa :As Far As I Know,
Both Ma Legs R Of Same Age

Santa Police Se:
Kal Raat Chor Mere Ghar Se
TV Ke Ilaava Sab Samaan Le Gaye
Police:TV Kyon Nahi Legaya!?
Santa:TV To Me Dekh Raha Tha

Santa Opened Xerox Shop
And Put A Big Cool Board Outside:
.
.
.
.
.
Xerox Done In All Language

Passenger-Tumne Mere Jeb Me Hath Kyu Dala?Santa-Muje Machis Chahiye Thi.
Pasen-Tum Mujhse Mang Sakte The.
Santa-Me Ajnabi Se Bat Nhi Karta.

Some1 Wrote 2 Sardar,
"Agr Tum Zaheen Ho To Rs100 Bhejo.
Hoshyar Ho To 200. Agr Dono Ho To 300 Bhejo"
Santa Sent Rs 600 N Wrote,
"O-A Main Sabka Baap Hon

In this article, we will provide you the best collection of Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi, English, and Hinglish which you can read and share with your friend for FREE!

Below are the Best Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi and English:-

संता (नौकर से) – ज़रा देख तो बाहर सूरज निकला या नहीं ?
नौकर – बाहर तो अँधेरा है !
संता – अरे तो टॉर्च जलाकर देख ले कामचोर ????

Santa(संता): हम पति-पत्नी तमिल सीखना चाहते हैं!
Banta(बंता): वो क्यों?
Santa(संता): हमने एक तमिल बच्चा गोद लिया है!हम सोचते हैं जब वो बोलने लगे तो उससे पहले पहले हम तमिल सीख लें!??

Santa(संता) – डॉक्टर साहब 2 साल पहले मुझे बुखार आया था ।
डॉक्टर- तो अब क्या ?
Santa(संता) – आपने नहाने को मना किया था, आज इधर से गुजर रहा था तो सोचा कि पूछता चलू ..”अब नहा लूँ क्या” ????????

संता का सर फट गया….
डॉक्टर:- ये कैसे हुआ?
संता:-मैं ईंट से पत्थर तोड़ रहा था।
एक आदमी ने मुझसे कहा, “कभी खोपड़ी का इस्तेमाल भी कर लिया कर।”

संता :-आज फिर मुझे आलिया भट्ट को किस करने को दिल कर रहा है ।
बंता:-क्या ??????तुम आलिया को पहले किस कर चुके हो?
संता:- नहीं, एक बार पहले भी दिल किया था ! ?

संता एक बार double decker वाली बस में चढ़ गया ….कंडक्टर ने उसे ऊपर भेज दिया , संता थोड़ी ही देर में भागता हुआ वापिस आया और बोला
” साले मरवाएगा क्या ऊपर तो ड्राइवर ही नहीं है “????

एक नीग्रो बस में अपने बच्चे के साथ जा रहा था….
कंडक्टर ने उसका बच्चा देखकर कहा- “इतना काला बच्चा मैंने आज तक नहीं देखा”……
नीग्रो को गुस्सा आया, लेकिन वो कुछ नहीं बोला और सीट पर आकर मुह फुलाकर बैठ गया।
संता ने उससे पूछा: “क्या हुआ भाई साहब”?
नीग्रो ने संता से कहा: अरे यार, उस कंडक्टर ने बेइज्जती कर दी। . . . .
संता : अरे मार साले को जाकर . . . ला ये चिम्पांजी का बच्चा मुझे पकड़ा दे… साला काटेगा तो नहीं…….. ????

संता पेड़ पर उल्टे लटके हुए था,
बंता ने पूछा – क्या हो गया?
संता- कुछ नहीं, सिर दर्द की गोली खाई है, कहीं पेट में ना चली जाए.!!!???????

बीवी – सुनो जी, जब हमारी नयी नयी शादी हुई थी,
तो जब मैं खाना बना कर लाती थी तो तुम खुद कम खाते थे,
मुझे ज्यादा खिलाते थे।
संता – तो ?
बीवी – तो अब ऐसा क्यों नहीं करते ?
संता – क्यूंकि अब तुम अच्छा खाना बनाना सीख गयी हो….

Best Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

संता शराब पीकर नंबर dial करता है , तभी लड़की की आवाज़ आती है ” Call करने के लिए आपके पास पर्याप्त Balance नहीं है , कृपया recharge करवाएँ
संता : बस जानेमन तुमसे बात हो जाती है ये ही काफी है मेरे लिए

संता : आज सुबह एक बिल्ली ने मेरा रास्ता काट दिया
बंता : फिर ?
संता : फिर क्या आगे जाकर उस बिल्ली का एक्सीडेंट हो गया। ….. साला हमसे पंगा

संता बड़ा परेशान था, बेचारे की शादी जो नहीं हो रही थी। हर बार शादी होते होते टूट जाती। सारे दोस्तों से पूछ लिया लेकिन कोई समाधान नहीं मिला।
बेचारा एक दिन एक पंडित जी के पास पहुंच गया और बोला- पंडित जी कोई उपाय बताए मेरी शादी नहीं हो रही हमेशा टूट जाती है।
पंडित जी ने कहा- शादी हो जाएगी, लेकिन सबसे पहले तुम लोगो से सदा सुखी होने का आशीर्वाद लेना बंद करो।

संता मोबाइल कम्पनी में नौकरी लेने गया तो पहले ही सवाल का जवाब देने पर उसको भगा दिया गया!
सवाल: सबसे बड़ा नेटवर्क कौन सा है?
संता: कार्टून नेटवर्क!

संता रोटी का एक निवाला खुद खा रहा था और एक पास बैठी मुर्गी को खिला रहा था…
बंता :- “ ये क्या कर रहा है ? ”
संता :- “ चिकन के साथ रोटी खा रहा हूँ ”

संता और बंता शराब के नशे में धुत्त होकर रेल की पटरियों के बीचों-बीच जा रहे थे….
संता : हे भगवान, मैंने इतनी सीढ़ियां पहले कभी नहीं चढ़ीं
बंता : अरे सीढ़ियाँ तो ठीक हैं, मैं तो इस बात को लेकर हैरान हूं कि हाथ से पकड़ने के लिए रेलिंग कितने नीचे लगी हुई हैं …..???????

एक मोटरसाइकिल वाले ने पता पूछने के लिए संता से पूछा….
Excuse me… मुझे “लाल किला” जाना है ?
संता: तो जा ना भाई, ऐसे हर किसी को बताते बताते जायेगा तो पहुचेगा कब ?? ?????

संता ने एक हलवाई की दुकान पर आधा किलो जलेबी लेकर खाई और बिना पैसे दिए जाने लगा..
दुकानदार बोला – अरे जलेबी के पैसे तो दिए जा ।
संता – पैसे तो है नहीं ..
इस पर दूकानदार ने अपने नौकर को बुला कर संता की भरपूर पिटाई करवा दी।
पिटने के बाद संता उठा और हाथ पैर झाड़ते हुए बोला- इसी भाव पर एक किलो और तौल दे ।???

संता अंडरवियर लेने दुकान पर गया।
दुकानदार ने उसे 300 रूपये का अंडरवियर दिखाया।
पैसे सुनकर संता बोला: यार रोज पहनने वाला दिखाओ,पार्टीवियर नहीं चाहिए।

बंता wife को English सिखा रहा था।
दोपहर में Wife बोली, “Dinner लो जी”…..
बंता – जाहिल औरत ये Dinner नही Lunch है….”
Wife – जाहिल तू, तेरा सारा ख़ानदान करमफूटे….ये रात का बचा हुआ खाना है… दिमाग मत दौड़ा, रोटी चरले।

संता के हाथ में नया फोन देखकर बंता बोला: नया फोन कब खरीदा?
संता : नया नहीं, गर्लफ्रेंड का है!
बंता : गर्लफ्रेंड का फोन क्यूँ ले आया?
संता :रोज कहती थी, मेरा फोन नहीं उठाते..! आज मौका मिला, तो उठा लाया!!

भिखारी: 5 रुपए का सवाल है बाबा !
संता: पूछो, शायद मुझे आता हो।
भिखारी: बेहोश …..संता rocks….

संता पहली बार 5 स्टार होटल में गया… झिझकते हुए चाय का आर्डर दिया….
कुछ ही मिनट में एक सजा धजा वेटर एक केतली में गर्म पानी, एक केतली में दूध, एक चाय पत्ती का पाउच और थोड़े चीनी के क्यूब देकर चला गया… संता ने जैसे तैसे चाय बना कर पी ली…
थोड़ी देर बाद वेटर आया और पूछा : would u like to have anything more, sir?
संता बोला : इच्छा तो बिरयानी खाने की भी थी, पर रहने दो … मुझे बनाना नहीं आता !!!

संता :- तुम ऑपरेशन कराए बिना ही हॉस्पिटल से क्यों भाग गए ?
बंता :- नर्स बार बार कह रही थी कि डरो मत, हिम्मत रखो, कुछ नहीं होगा.. ये तो बस एक छोटा सा ऑपरेशन है!
संता :- तो इसमें डरने वाली कौन सी बात है ? सही तो कह रही थी नर्स ! बंता :- साले, वो मुझसे नहीं डॉक्टर से कह रही थी !!!

Latest Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

संता (नौकर से) – ज़रा देख तो बाहर सूरज निकला या नहीं ?
नौकर – बाहर तो अँधेरा है !
संता – अरे तो टॉर्च जलाकर देख ले कामचोर 😆😎😎😜
Santa(संता): हम पति-पत्नी तमिल सीखना चाहते हैं!
Banta(बंता): वो क्यों?
Santa(संता): हमने एक तमिल बच्चा गोद लिया है!हम सोचते हैं जब वो बोलने लगे तो उससे पहले पहले हम तमिल सीख लें!😬😂

Santa(संता) – डॉक्टर साहब 2 साल पहले मुझे बुखार आया था ।
डॉक्टर- तो अब क्या ?
Santa(संता) – आपने नहाने को मना किया था, आज इधर से गुजर रहा था तो सोचा कि पूछता चलू ..”अब नहा लूँ क्या” ??😆😎😎😜😜😜
संता का सर फट गया….
डॉक्टर:- ये कैसे हुआ?
संता:-मैं ईंट से पत्थर तोड़ रहा था।
एक आदमी ने मुझसे कहा, “कभी खोपड़ी का इस्तेमाल भी कर लिया कर।”
संता :-आज फिर मुझे आलिया भट्ट को किस करने को दिल कर रहा है ।
बंता:-क्या ??????तुम आलिया को पहले किस कर चुके हो?
संता:- नहीं, एक बार पहले भी दिल किया था ! 😀
संता एक बार double decker वाली बस में चढ़ गया ….कंडक्टर ने उसे ऊपर भेज दिया , संता थोड़ी ही देर में भागता हुआ वापिस आया और बोला
” साले मरवाएगा क्या ऊपर तो ड्राइवर ही नहीं है “😄😄😄😄
एक नीग्रो बस में अपने बच्चे के साथ जा रहा था….
कंडक्टर ने उसका बच्चा देखकर कहा- “इतना काला बच्चा मैंने आज तक नहीं देखा”……
नीग्रो को गुस्सा आया, लेकिन वो कुछ नहीं बोला और सीट पर आकर मुह फुलाकर बैठ गया।
संता ने उससे पूछा: “क्या हुआ भाई साहब”?
नीग्रो ने संता से कहा: अरे यार, उस कंडक्टर ने बेइज्जती कर दी। . . . .
संता : अरे मार साले को जाकर . . . ला ये चिम्पांजी का बच्चा मुझे पकड़ा दे… साला काटेगा तो नहीं…….. 😛😝😛😝
संता पेड़ पर उल्टे लटके हुए था,
बंता ने पूछा – क्या हो गया?
संता- कुछ नहीं, सिर दर्द की गोली खाई है, कहीं पेट में ना चली जाए.!!!😄😄😄😄😁😂😂
बीवी – सुनो जी, जब हमारी नयी नयी शादी हुई थी,
तो जब मैं खाना बना कर लाती थी तो तुम खुद कम खाते थे,
मुझे ज्यादा खिलाते थे।
संता – तो ?
बीवी – तो अब ऐसा क्यों नहीं करते ?
संता – क्यूंकि अब तुम अच्छा खाना बनाना सीख गयी हो….

Popular Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi

संता शराब पीकर नंबर dial करता है , तभी लड़की की आवाज़ आती है ” Call करने के लिए आपके पास पर्याप्त Balance नहीं है , कृपया recharge करवाएँ
संता : बस जानेमन तुमसे बात हो जाती है ये ही काफी है मेरे लिए
संता : आज सुबह एक बिल्ली ने मेरा रास्ता काट दिया
बंता : फिर ?
संता : फिर क्या आगे जाकर उस बिल्ली का एक्सीडेंट हो गया। ….. साला हमसे पंगा
संता बड़ा परेशान था, बेचारे की शादी जो नहीं हो रही थी। हर बार शादी होते होते टूट जाती। सारे दोस्तों से पूछ लिया लेकिन कोई समाधान नहीं मिला।
बेचारा एक दिन एक पंडित जी के पास पहुंच गया और बोला- पंडित जी कोई उपाय बताए मेरी शादी नहीं हो रही हमेशा टूट जाती है।
पंडित जी ने कहा- शादी हो जाएगी, लेकिन सबसे पहले तुम लोगो से सदा सुखी होने का आशीर्वाद लेना बंद करो।
संता मोबाइल कम्पनी में नौकरी लेने गया तो पहले ही सवाल का जवाब देने पर उसको भगा दिया गया!
सवाल: सबसे बड़ा नेटवर्क कौन सा है?
संता: कार्टून नेटवर्क!

More santa banta jokes in hindi:

Checkout more jokes on santa banta in hindi listed below.

संता रोटी का एक निवाला खुद खा रहा था और एक पास बैठी मुर्गी को खिला रहा था…
बंता :- “ ये क्या कर रहा है ? ”
संता :- “ चिकन के साथ रोटी खा रहा हूँ ”
संता और बंता शराब के नशे में धुत्त होकर रेल की पटरियों के बीचों-बीच जा रहे थे….
संता : हे भगवान, मैंने इतनी सीढ़ियां पहले कभी नहीं चढ़ीं
बंता : अरे सीढ़ियाँ तो ठीक हैं, मैं तो इस बात को लेकर हैरान हूं कि हाथ से पकड़ने के लिए रेलिंग कितने नीचे लगी हुई हैं …..😄😄😄😀😀😀😀
एक मोटरसाइकिल वाले ने पता पूछने के लिए संता से पूछा….
Excuse me… मुझे “लाल किला” जाना है ?
संता: तो जा ना भाई, ऐसे हर किसी को बताते बताते जायेगा तो पहुचेगा कब ?? 😜😜😀😂😃
संता ने एक हलवाई की दुकान पर आधा किलो जलेबी लेकर खाई और बिना पैसे दिए जाने लगा..
दुकानदार बोला – अरे जलेबी के पैसे तो दिए जा ।
संता – पैसे तो है नहीं ..
इस पर दूकानदार ने अपने नौकर को बुला कर संता की भरपूर पिटाई करवा दी।
पिटने के बाद संता उठा और हाथ पैर झाड़ते हुए बोला- इसी भाव पर एक किलो और तौल दे ।😛😃😃
संता अंडरवियर लेने दुकान पर गया।
दुकानदार ने उसे 300 रूपये का अंडरवियर दिखाया।
पैसे सुनकर संता बोला: यार रोज पहनने वाला दिखाओ,पार्टीवियर नहीं चाहिए।
बंता wife को English सिखा रहा था।
दोपहर में Wife बोली, “Dinner लो जी”…..
बंता – जाहिल औरत ये Dinner नही Lunch है….”
Wife – जाहिल तू, तेरा सारा ख़ानदान करमफूटे….ये रात का बचा हुआ खाना है… दिमाग मत दौड़ा, रोटी चरले।

संता के हाथ में नया फोन देखकर बंता बोला: नया फोन कब खरीदा?
संता : नया नहीं, गर्लफ्रेंड का है!
बंता : गर्लफ्रेंड का फोन क्यूँ ले आया?
संता :रोज कहती थी, मेरा फोन नहीं उठाते..! आज मौका मिला, तो उठा लाया!!

More santa banta jokes in hindi:

भिखारी: 5 रुपए का सवाल है बाबा !
संता: पूछो, शायद मुझे आता हो।
भिखारी: बेहोश …..संता rocks….
संता पहली बार 5 स्टार होटल में गया… झिझकते हुए चाय का आर्डर दिया….
कुछ ही मिनट में एक सजा धजा वेटर एक केतली में गर्म पानी, एक केतली में दूध, एक चाय पत्ती का पाउच और थोड़े चीनी के क्यूब देकर चला गया… संता ने जैसे तैसे चाय बना कर पी ली…
थोड़ी देर बाद वेटर आया और पूछा : would u like to have anything more, sir?
संता बोला : इच्छा तो बिरयानी खाने की भी थी, पर रहने दो … मुझे बनाना नहीं आता !!!
संता :- तुम ऑपरेशन कराए बिना ही हॉस्पिटल से क्यों भाग गए ?
बंता :- नर्स बार बार कह रही थी कि डरो मत, हिम्मत रखो, कुछ नहीं होगा.. ये तो बस एक छोटा सा ऑपरेशन है!
संता :- तो इसमें डरने वाली कौन सी बात है ? सही तो कह रही थी नर्स !
बंता :- साले, वो मुझसे नहीं डॉक्टर से कह रही थी !!!